Providing Ministry On Their Worst Day

You can replace the pipe organ with a praise band. You can replace the donut table with a coffee shop. You can have ample parking, complete with smiling attendants; but, if you’re not there for people on their worst day, they’ll never forget it.

I’ve heard stories after stories of people who left church because, they felt, the church left them. As a counselor, I would often inquire about clients’ support system – including church and/or place of worship. This would spark all kinds of memories and illicit all kinds of reactions.

I sat with a couple who no longer attends church because he was struggling with addiction and they were considering divorce. When they reached out to their church for support, they felt shamed and shunned. Instead of leaving the marriage, they left the church.

I sat with a pastor of a large church who told a story of getting a phone call from an irate mother. The pastor explained that the woman’s daughter was a member of their church and active in their student ministry program. The month prior to the phone call, the daughter had died in a car accident. The mother called the pastor because she had just received a mailing about upcoming events addressed to her daughter. The pastor immediately turned to his computer and found the young woman in their directory with a note across the top: “Deceased – Car Accident” and the date.

Apparently, no one had reached out to the mother and acknowledged her loss. No one had communicated the value and importance of this young lady in their student ministry and how she will be missed. With a church as large as theirs (with multiple campuses), the pastor admitted that he didn’t even know one of their members had died.

“We have to do better,” he said, “this is unacceptable”.

If you’re not there for people on their worst day, they’ll never forget it (and tell dozens of their closest friends).

Crisis care and spiritual support ministry is not just “nice to have”.

This service reinforces the call of the church to love one another by empowering members to provide emotional and spiritual care during times of distress. This ministry reassures hurting people that they are not alone; that they are, instead, valuable and worthy of attention and care.

Consider these questions:

• Do people in your church feel like they matter?
• How does your church respond to individuals and families in crisis?
• How are you made aware of people struggling and in pain?

Being present with people in pain is ministry. It is the work of the church and the mission of its ministers (members). It’s true: if you’re not there for people on their worst day, they’ll never forget it. But, there’s good news here! The opposite is also true: when you are there for people on their worst day, they’ll never forget it.

How do you want your church and your ministry to be known?

There is nothing wrong with having a great band, delicious coffee and convenient parking…but can you emphatically say that your church is prepared to be present with people on their worst day? Do members of your church feel empowered as ministers to reach out, sit with and stand beside people in pain? Is there an established “protocol” for members to communicate critical incidents to pastoral staff? Is your church prepared to minister to community members in crisis?

Learn to be present with people on their worst day…and they’ll never forget it!

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” – John 13:35 (NIV).